With two babies under 17 months I have spent more time than ever before within the walls of my own home. Instead of the constant "cabin fever" I feared I'd experience, I've been surprised by how often I can feel the beauty of it all.
Babies, I believe, are especially close to God. There is something sacred about an infant experiencing things for the first time, something sacred too about being the one that they rely completely on for life. So much so that it can easy overwhelm my emotions and leave me feeling anxious and unsure of myself.
But through the days, weeks, moments and hours that have followed our second son's birth I have often found strength, beyond my own, certainly, to somehow call back the perspective that allows me to love and care when I have nothing left to give.
What happens inside the walls of a home, as I learn and grow with my children, is truly spectacular. It is not, perhaps, the kind of spectacle the world today applauds. But in truth, it is beautiful, it's sacred, it's unique, it is elating and miraculous. It's humbling and heart wrenching, light and tremendously heavy. It is
so
much and yet it can feel like I’m doing so little. It is emotional.
As I was pacing our bedroom with my baby last night the words from a song in
Les Miserables kept running into my thoughts,
“To
love another person is to see the face of God.”
It has given me a little peek into the depth of God's greatness;
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
-John 3:16 (emphasis added.)
This painting was inspired by my focus on the joy and happiness that home, my home and my roles in it, has brought to me.
Beautiful, Michelle. You inspire me to seek for those moments/feelings within the walls of my own home. The cabin fever really does get to me, so I'm glad to hear that it is not so much plaguing you. You're awesome!
ReplyDeleteAww Jenna, thank you. We were just talking about how you're such a role model mother to me and seem to be practically perfect in every way.:) I think it is so much easier to get stuck on the negatives that come with mother-ing and I have to make a conscious effort a million times a day to do otherwise and it is blessing my emotional health so much. I still have really bad days/moments but they are not nearly so constant as they were with sweet Lee boy.
DeleteI love that painting. It is so beautiful! And I love your message as well. Motherhood is such a beautiful thing. I'm so happy you are getting some of that love because it's so hard to do a few months postpartum. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this baby. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Shirley! It is beautiful, motherhood that is. Ironically just after posting this my day fell apart and I faced one of my hardest postpartum days to date. (post-Drew) It made me even more grateful for all the good days I've had. I'm trying to remember how these days will go by so quickly and I'll miss it, this part of my children's lives, so I'm trying to be 'still' and allow myself to find the good and see the magic of having my boy experience everything with that innocent wonder.
DeleteI think having such a creative outlet helps your perspective so much. I would love to create something so beautiful from the experiences I have. You are amazing.
ReplyDeletePainting does help me think about my life and what's important to me in a different way to be sure. I think there are so many ways to "create something beautiful" from our experiences. However we choose to capture them or remember them. Photos, words, art, stories; I know I have loved having a glimpse into the growing up years of all you cousins and your shenanigans at Wayan.
DeleteThank you for your support though, it always means a lot to feel like my art reaches beyond myself (and Kevin...my biggest fan.)
ReplyDelete